“Right now, our community is experiencing profound trauma,” said Héctor Sánchez-Flores, executive director at the National Compadres Network, a nonprofit that provides culturally rooted programs such as community kinship circles—like Círculo—to promote healing.
Sitting in kinship circles—to listen deeply, make group decisions, resolve conflict, and heal together—is a practice that can be traced back to indigenous communities in North America and around the world.
To explore tools and approaches health workers can use to support their communities’ mental and emotional well-being during these tough times, Public Good News spoke with Sánchez-Flores.
He discussed the challenges mental health practitioners are facing, his organization’s work, and how sitting in kinship circles has shaped his own life.
Here’s what he said.
[Editor’s note: The contents of this interview have been edited for length and clarity.]
Public Good News: What are some of the current challenges you’re hearing about in communities across the country?
Héctor Sánchez-Flores: You know, probably better than me, some of the excruciating details of the things that are going on in communities. And yeah, the press happens to highlight what’s happening in Chicago, or what’s happening in Portland, but it’s happening in many different places. So, that’s what our community is enfrentando [facing].
We were just in Phoenix with people who work in the child welfare system, who are working with full families in detention who may be separated.
My mother is a naturalized U.S. citizen. She’s been one for probably 20-some-odd years. She’s affected by it, and she talks to me about it all the time.
‘¿Que está pasando?’ [What’s happening?] You know?
She says, ‘I remember the presidents in Mexico, who ruled by fiat and edict, who didn’t follow laws. I never thought that the United States would be in the same position.’
Some hombres [men] will say, ‘I don’t want to go to Círculo because I don’t want to be perceived as taking a public benefit.’ And I remind them this is not a state-funded program, but they’re really apprehensive about it.
In some places we hold círculos for the young people that are young people that are being affected in school settings.
Right now, there should be virtual or in-person círculos in every community that’s being affected by this. Not that it’s going to change anything in the short run, but it’s going to strengthen the interconnection.
PGN: Can you describe what happens in Círculo?
H.S.F: Círculo at the National Compadres Network started in 1988.
There was a group of hombres that were in varied disciplines: physicians, attorneys, community workers, therapists, psychologists. And they said, ‘Let’s get together and begin to brainstorm on what we would be able to do that would enhance the services for our community.’
That was the original prayer.
And they sat in a kinship circle. They honored the four directions, and they invited other hombres to share.
They didn’t have an agenda, but some of them knew about a proceso [process]: conocimientos [introductions], cargas [burdens], regalos [gifts or blessings], and dando gracias [giving thanks].
Quite frankly, we all share from our heart and our spirit.
When we invite people to come to community and the circles, hombres, like my father, would come to the circle for the first time, and they didn’t know what to expect.
These men would tell me afterwards, ‘I’ve never shared these things. All my life, what came out of my mouth had been bouncing from ear to ear in my head y nunca salió [and it never came out].’
And in Círculo, it came out.
They said, ‘When it came out, I felt instantly lighter. And then I felt regret, because I thought, ¿qué van a decir estos hombres de mi? [What are these men going to say about me?]
But when I passed the staff and the next man shared his cargas and regalos, ‘I felt better sharing mine, and I felt better listening to his.’
PGN: How do you describe Círculo to people who’ve never experienced it?
H.S.F.: We describe it as a place where you come to offer reflections and listen to others in order to create harmony in your life. Círculo is therapeutic.
It is not therapy. But if you don’t have access to therapists, then it’s the next best thing.
What I share when I invite people is that I am a better husband, I’m a better father, I’m a better son, I’m a better executive director, because I regularly sit in círculo. It gives me opportunities to reflect and grow.
That’s why I do it—because it still produces that for me.
People will say, ‘Do you get tired of sitting in círculo?’ It’s like, I’m a different man in every círculo. Sometimes, I’m centering my role as husband, sometimes as father to a son, sometimes father to a daughter. I’m not the same in every círculo.
PGN: Can you give us an example? What impact has it had in your own life?
H.S.F.: Six years after the National Compadres Network began, the founder, Jerry Tello, invited me to come to a retreat for men. I had been married for just about a year.
I saw hombres there—some of them had long, healthy, successful marriages, and they were very honest about the things that helped them sustain that.
And there were others who had had many relationships over the same amount of time, and they were very honest about the struggles they had.
I was sitting there thinking to myself, these men are offering me a blueprint. I now know that there are two ways to live your life.
I can choose to try to be as honorable as possible and be dedicated in my love and live that love, or I can be a man living in trauma and seeking these other things. But I can’t claim ignorance anymore.
Lucy and I have been married for 31 years now. Sometimes people will say, ‘What’s the key to a long, healthy marriage?’
And I say, ‘having sat with hombres that were incredibly honest with me about what got them there.’
I’m not saying it’s perfect and easy, but I haven’t had those catastrophic errors that cause relationships to collapse.