This is the third installment in a series about Pennsylvanians in recovery from substance use disorder and how stigma affected their recovery. The series is a collaboration between Public Good News, Centro Integral de la Mujer Madre Tierra, and Life Unites Us. If you’d like to share your story, contact us at Info@PublicGoodNews.com.
[Editor’s note: The contents of this interview have been edited for length and clarity.]
Robert Diaz, 53
President, CEO and founder of Walk it Out Recovery Services
Berks County and Lower Bucks County, Pennsylvania
I grew up in a family that was plagued with addiction. I’m from the Bronx, New York, but I’ve been in Pennsylvania for 17 years. My family used drugs and alcohol, so it was prevalent growing up. My preteen years, things got worse, and I resorted to the streets. I basically grew up in the streets, trying to escape. I started using drugs at a very young age—it was really because I wanted to fit in and be part of the crew.
I remember when I was a young kid and my mother was on drugs—she used heroin and crack. One day, my friends and I were walking down the street, and we saw a woman nodding out. And when I got closer, it was my mother…I was so embarrassed that I just walked past her, past my friends. Later on, when I went to live with my aunt, I remember hanging out with my friends from that neighborhood…I saw my mother, and I tried to avoid her. And a friend said, “Hey, shorty, that’s your mother.”
That made me realize that she was my mother, and I shouldn’t be embarrassed of her. And because of stigma, I didn’t want to be a kid that had a so-called “junkie” for a mother. So I thought I had to wake up and change a little bit.
I was encouraged and I knew that my mother loved me. She used to tell me, “Papito, I love you, pero no hay nada que yo pueda hacer por ti (there’s nothing I can do for you), all I can do is love you.”
When she passed away, it really tore my heart apart, and a week after we buried my mother, my cousin and my girlfriend died—and that really threw me back. A lot of my anger, a lot of my rebellion, got worse. And even though I was working and doing so great and being successful, I still had that part of me that couldn’t let go.
When I was released from a correctional facility—I was incarcerated many times as a young kid—I tried my best to be sober. But the grief led me to depression. And instead of getting help through therapy, I would find ways to drink the pain away.
I did have some periods of sobriety. I started doing very well, went to junior college and did good as far as employment. And then I relapsed, and that relapse took me on a long journey, a little over 10 years. That’s when I started to lose a lot of my opportunities. I burned bridges. I never really wanted to let anybody know what I was doing because of stigma, embarrassment, my pride. And that led me into a full-blown relapse.
When I finally realized I needed help, I spoke to my uncle. He told me about a place called Teen Challenge, a Christian faith-based program. I called them, made the appointment, and got accepted into the program in Brooklyn. I also accepted Christ in my life, which is an important part of my life and my spirituality.
That was my life of turmoil, now to the life I thrive in.
It was the time that I spent at Teen Challenge that really developed me as a godly man and started to change my perspective in life through mentors and professionals who were in recovery. After one year of being there, I got involved with community service and I started my own ministry, Walk It Out Ministries. I also started doing Christian hip-hop, and that way I spread a message of hope for the hopeless; those who struggle with drug addiction, alcoholism, mental illness, emotional pain, and trauma. I reached them not only through the Gospel, but also through music. And I used that as an outlet.
I also went to college. I got my bachelor’s in addiction studies, and then became a recovery specialist and started my master’s program. And from there, I became a clinician, where I did mental health and drug and alcohol treatment, and group therapy.
When I was a bilingual clinician, I started to realize that the Spanish-speaking community really didn’t understand addiction because of the language barrier, so I came up with an idea: “Why don’t I meet the families in the Spanish-speaking community where they are, and teach them about addiction?” Around that time, I started Walk It Out Recovery Services. And in 2017, I created bilingual family strengthening programs, where we teach the parents and their children about how to communicate effectively—because the whole family dynamic is affected by substance use. We talk about drug addiction, bullying, and domestic violence, and it’s all curriculum-based.
We also just started a new initiative, a children’s support group called Wildflowers. When a caregiver or parent goes to a meeting for their recovery, we have a group where we teach the children about the 12 steps, in their age-appropriate level, and different videos about addiction, and then we do arts and crafts and activities. And we’re connected to Pennsylvania’s Teen Challenge now and refer people there. The 16th of February, I made 17 years born-again Christian, and then on the 19th, 17 years of my sobriety. It’s been a blessing to be able to be that voice, and to use my past as a strength.
If you or anyone you know is considering suicide or self-harm or is anxious, depressed, upset, or needs to talk, call the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 or text the Crisis Text Line at 741-741. For international resources, here is a good place to begin.
If you’re looking for substance use disorder or mental health help in Pennsylvania, find a list of resources here.
This article was supported by Life Unites Us, a health campaign that receives funding from the Pennsylvania Department of Drug and Alcohol Programs. Public Good News retains full editorial control over its reporting.